It's Just Not Fun Anymore: Part 1
I remember a time when it was fun to go to McDonald’s. I used to look forward to it. I would get excited when the golden arches came into view. There was something almost “holy” about it.
And I know I’m not alone here. McDonald’s was everybody’s special place. We even had a nickname for it: Mickey D’s. We loved Mickey D’s. We loved Mickey D’s without them telling us we should. We weren’t lovin’ it; we were eatin’ it, and we didn’t know anything about calories, or cholesterol, or high fructose corn syrup. We just knew that it tasted good and it made us happy.
Now that I’m older, and I know how unhealthy the food is, eating at McDonald’s feels like a crime against humanity. Every time I take a bite out of my quarter-pounder, some fat kid somewhere dies of a heart attack, just keels over. Mickey D’s isn’t fun anymore; it’s a guilt trip.
And I think McDonald’s knows this, I think they’re well aware of this, which is why they’re offering more healthy options to people. I bought my kids Happy Meals recently, and there were more apple slices in the box than fries. McDonald’s needs to stop putting apple slices in their Happy Meals. If my kids wanted apple slices, I would’ve taken them to the farmer’s market. I know where the farmer’s market is, because I drive right by there on the way to McDonald’s.
The reason why you go to McDonald’s is because you don’t want apple slices. You want salty fries, greasy nuggets, and a cheap toy from China. Unless they can make the apple slices taste like the fries—which I’m sure they can do, they have the technology—just get rid of them altogether, take them off the menu.
It defeats the whole purpose of going to McDonald’s, which, nowadays, is to quickly and cheaply commit a deadly sin.